Vital Writer Services' Blog

It’s nice to see you.

Elizabeth Herman — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 23:45:54 +0000

Great things happen when people love each other and have faith in others’ love for them. There recently came across a time when everyone was looking for friendship, or so it seemed. Then they would all get together for specific events that were agreed-upon places where love, peace, harmony, forgiveness and acceptance were the top priority on everybody’s mind.

For example, in my hometown of Carbondale, Illinois, we are on Day 8 of the Eleven Days of Peace event. It started on Day 1, which happened to be the 10th anniversary of September 11 attacks. Now, as we approach September 21, 2011, we see the end approaching of an unusual get-together of interfaith and civic groups to learn about non-violence and create a safer and more harmonious world. Some of the people who made this a great series of events included Hugh Muldoon, Diana Brawley Sussman, Randy Osborne, Marleen Shepherd, Ken Starbuck, Ossama Bahloul, Din Dayemi, Bill Sasso, Kathy Renfro, Sarah Heyer, Nikki Garza, etc., etc., etc., and the list goes on and on. Everyone who participated in one way or another is a hero in my book.

Childhood Scars

Elizabeth Herman — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 16:43:06 +0000

Human beings scar consistently and easily. Not all scars are physical or seen by the naked eye. Some scars are unseen. In the mind, some traumatic events leave impressions, which build up over time.

When I was very small, there was an incident of molestation that happened before I could walk or talk. I have vivid memories from that event, even though I was so young at the time. These memories have come back to me through years of intentional therapeutic work to uncover the root causes of some of my emotional and physical problems that I encountered as a young adult.

The problems stemming from numerous incidents of childhood sexual abuse were most acute when I was a young mother of young children. I couldn’t seem to sleep properly or digest my food properly during those years. I also needed counseling in order to handle conflicts that occurred during my marriage. I had a nice husband, but I was so taxed energetically that I couldn’t give him the gratitude that he actually deserved. He couldn’t be grateful to me either, and by the time 10 years of difficult marriage passed, we were ready to separate and divorce.

Now, I’m 48 years old and I’ve been divorced for 14.5 years. I’ve paid thousands of dollars and many many hours for therapy to handle the emotional and physical problems that I live with as a result of being sexually abused as a child. In addition, there was some emotional and spiritual neglect that happened in my family, despite the good and loving intentions of my parents. This is not a blame game. I love my parents and yet I’m compelled to look at them more truthfully than they allowed me to as a child. The reason I must tell this truth is not to hurt anyone, but to help those still sustaining the same kinds of scars that I have carried with me into this healing period.

More on this topic in future posts. With much love.

7 month anniversary!

Elizabeth Herman — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 20:13:51 +0000

This week marks the 7th month that Contemplative Writers’ Group has been in existence. It has really made my time in Carbondale so much more fun, and I hope to continue meeting with people to write, talk, read and eat for a long time to come. We have continued to read aloud from Natalie Goldberg and other writers who practice in a more or less contemplative way, throughout the last 7 months. Most of the time we have 4, 5 or 6 people in attendance. Sometimes we have a big dinner with several dishes and sometime there is only one cook and the dinner is small. Either way, regardless of how much food there is, we are always most grateful for the company of other writers who are willing to trust a 10-minute silence in each other’s presence and the value of the writing that springs forth from that silence. At first, I said that sharing the spontaneous writings was optional, and it still is, but the vast majority of participants share their work without hesitation, fully recognizing that it is all in process and not meant to be seen as polished or masterful, though sometimes/often there are flashes of brilliance that shine through.